I'll admit it; I talk a load of gas
August 2011
Years ago when I started racing, I got myself a website. It was largely for my own amusement and, as a result, the news stories I wrote were very tongue-in-cheek. Had I known back then how popular it would become or how much of a cult following I would get, I may have attempted to make it more obvious. You see it’s very difficult to convey atmospherics in written word without using smiley faces and the world “LOL” and I very quickly realised that some people don’t have a sense of humour. Most don’t get sarcasm and few people even know what the word ‘irony’ means. Also, apparently fellow competitors don’t like being called pricks.So years later when I started writing columns for Karting Magazine, I made sure I kept my witty banter to a minimum. This was because the magazine sells over 13,000 copies every month in 70 different countries and that means my ability to unwittingly offend people could have a negative impact on the magazine.
Recently, however, I had to make my first retraction. It wasn’t a big deal; I basically suggested that the owner of a certain race track was a crook and may very well be the spawn of Satan. I also described the toilet facilities as prehistoric. Nevertheless, a very sage driver rep advised me that such accusations could be construed as libel and may result in me getting sacked and then sent down to the 7th level of hell to explain to Satan why I’d been so harsh about his circuit and toilets.
This happened around the same time that I wrote an equally scathing article about the National Grid. I ranted about how poor their website was and, during the course of my ramblings, I may have referred to them as incompetent fecktards. Now, I know I have quite a large following but I never expect the target of my verbal diarrhoea to read it. So when I got a message on Twitter from the National Grid asking me to send them my contact details, you can imagine my surprise.
Firstly, I was surprised that they were keen to help sort my issues out. If someone referred to me as an incompetent fecktard, I would be inclined to send them a message on Twitter asking if they would like to fist themselves.
Secondly, I was surprised that they were on Twitter in the first place. For a big company like the National Grid to use social networking sites like Twitter shows how up to date and clued in they are, which is unusual for big companies. Secondly, to interact with customers and the general public shows they are really switched on and are moving with the times and actually care about customer satisfaction. Again, something that is unusual for a big company.
Once I established they weren’t going to sue me for libel, I gave them my contact details. Of course it never occurred to me that the only name they had for me was my Twitter username so I was a bit confused when I got a call from a lady asking to speak to a doctor.
Anyway, a call from their customer service department helped sort things out. The nice lady agreed that what I was quoted was far too much and it was only that high because I’d chosen to get them to carry out work that I probably didn’t need. Of course, one of my original complaints was there was no way the average Joe could possibly understand any of the inane questions being asked on the website so that kind of proved my point. Still, their customer service was very good and they managed to quote me something a bit more reasonable.
From then on, I can only describe their service as extremely good. They sent me regular updates via email stating what was about to happen. This was usually followed up by a phone call from them reminding me to stay at home all day and to ensure that the area was clear.
On the day itself, a couple of blokes came round (well within the timescale stated) and dug a big hole in the ground. A few hours later, another guy came round to move the meter outside. It all seemed like a fairly straightforward task. He came in, stuck a beeping device into a socket that sounded uncannily like a David Guetta single, did a bit of banging around and all was well with the world. I admit to getting a bit nervous when I heard a large drill followed by an unnerving hissing sound and the unmistakable smell of gas, but apparently that was nothing to worry about. He fitted it, and everything still worked. The boiler still boiled, the radiators still radiated, nothing blew up and all of the workmen were friendly, didn’t consume all of my tea and none of them left a floater in my toilet like most labourers do.
All in all I was extremely impressed. However, like all reviewers, I still have to report on the negatives. I still maintain that their website is rubbish. Having a more user-friendly website that actually makes sense to the general public would go a long way to improving their overall service. I would offer my expert web services but I fear my previous rant - and the fact that I’ve just said their website is rubbish - has probably blacklisted me. I also think that, whilst their customer service is excellent, they suffer from the usual big company problem of too many departments and too many procedures. That is just a personal gripe because I like things to be simple – because I am simple.
Whilst the work carried out was done quickly and efficiently and the workmen were all pleasant and friendly, the guy made a bit of a hash of drilling a hole in my wall and part of the brickwork is now chipped. He also left loads of ugly redundant pipe work sticking out of the floor in my kitchen and told me I'd need to sort that out myself. To be honest, though, I wasn’t too bothered. Chipping brickwork is the sort of thing I would expect during this kind of work and it’s really not that noticeable. I was a little annoyed that the guy just left the pipe work sticking out of the floor and I’m sure the health and safety Nazis would have had something to say about it. Nevertheless, a useful future father-in-law and an angle grinder soon sorted that out.
So apart from a couple of minor complaints, I have to confess that their service was nothing short of marvellous; even more so when I consider how rude I was to them. I know it is my job to rant, be cynical and keep up my reputation as the UK’s youngest grumpy old man but I also respect when I’m wrong. So, dear National Grid, I’m sorry.
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