Playing hangman with a machine gun
September 2011
A recent survey revealed that the majority of people in this country would like to see the return of public hangings, beheadings and the introduction of solar powered electric chairs for the rapists, murderers and phone-hackers of this country.A few years ago, the government launched their own website in an attempt to look cool and be down wiv da kids. They also set up an online petition to make it appear as though we actually live in a democracy by giving the general public the ability to create surveys and have their say.
Naturally the government have ignored every single petition that has ever been put on the website, including really important subject matters like making the Jedi Order a recognised religion and suggesting Jeremy Clarkson as Prime Minister.
Recently, however, some politician took a break from rogering his secretary and suggested that any petition with over 100,000 signatories should be considered for a Commons vote.
On the basis of that, we would have free petrol, we wouldn’t be in the EU, we would be free of immigrants, Formula 1 would not be moving to Sky, everyone would be smoking Cannabis, I would be wielding a lightsaber and we would have a much better Prime Minister.
Given that none of the ideas listed above have taken effect suggests the powers that be either think they are stupid ideas or they actually are stupid ideas. The death penalty argument is pretty much the same thing.
Forgetting the human rights activists who will jump straight in and claim that it is a violation of a child molester’s human rights to be hung by his penis until dead, the problem is, and always will be, innocent people being wrongly accused. Unless there is irrefutable evidence, it would be wrong to justify the execution of that individual.
Another argument with capital punishment boils down to hypocrisy. What it would effectively be saying is that it’s a crime to kill someone so as a punishment for killing someone you will be killed. That is almost Middle-East stupid.
However, there is also a strong argument for the punishment fitting a crime. There may be some who feel that by committing a murder, that person automatically waives their human rights and should be sentenced to death. Personally, I think all social workers, bankers, government ministers, reality TV stars and Piers Morgan should give up their human rights and be sentenced to death.
I would also like to see the return of people being tried as witches. Certainly that would rid the world of all the idiotic pop stars and Big Brother contestants. I think sex offenders should have their love dart chopped off with a rusty bread knife, thieves should have their hands chopped off and anyone who believes child molesters should be kept alive should be burnt at the stake.
Certainly there needs to be tougher penalties to deter criminals. Take the recent riots in London. This is a classic example of how a lack of authority has caused people to believe they can get away with anything.
These riots basically started because some coloured chap, who was probably a drug dealer, shot a police officer and was shot dead himself. Because of this, all his drug dealer friends and gang-banger homies, who think they are in down town Los Angeles, retaliated by setting fire to London. Then a bunch of other drug dealer, mass-murdering rapists from elsewhere decided this was a good idea and started setting fire to other cities in the country. With every shop on fire, all the thieving pikey chavs emerged from the sewers and started stealing from the burning buildings.
And the police can do very little about it because they aren’t allowed to lay a finger on thieves, murderers, drug dealers and rapists because they might violate their human rights. Then they would have to go back to the police station and spend the rest of the year doing paperwork so they can prove to the government that they met their stupid targets.
It gets worse because the few armed police we have in this country aren’t allowed to shoot people because they will be the ones who get sued by the family of the “victim”. The grieving mother will inevitably appear on the telly and issue a statement condemning the actions of the “brutal” police force and claim that their child was a sweet and innocent individual who wouldn’t harm a fly, even though they were selling drugs to babies and shooting PC plod.
Unsurprisingly, the majority of rioters were youths with hoodies and trousers half way down their arse. There are too many stories involving this race of inbred mutant so I think the onus should be put on the parents. If a youth is so out of control, the parents obviously didn’t do a good enough job in raising them and should be punished too. I would suggest putting the kids in stocks, fining the parents and removing all financial benefits.
One of the problems is people aren’t educated well enough. Teachers aren’t allowed to tell children off any more so they never learn basic discipline. Police aren’t allowed to arrest anyone who is even remotely tanned or whose surname is Mohammed.
Well I say a revolution is called for. Bring back caning in schools. For kids with serious behavioural problems, string them up by their school tie and publicly flog them. Then we’ll see how many little peckers really suffer from A.D.D. Police need to be given more authority and be allowed to defend themselves properly from gangsters carrying guns. So I would give all police men and women guns; none of this rubber bullet nonsense but proper bullets. If they have to shoot someone they should be allowed to. Then the family of the “victim” should have to pay for the cost of the bullet.
What’s a bit disconcerting about the London riots is it was largely triggered by the shooting of a scum bag. Now, one of the events that triggered World War I was the shooting of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. It would be a sad state of affairs if World War III or even a civil war was triggered by the shooting of someone who probably deserved it. As this government obviously doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to these people, I would like to volunteer to step up to the challenge. Therefore, if anyone wants to set up a petition on the government website to get me into power, please do. The government will only ignore it anyway.
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