Stay safe; learn to drive
October 2011
I’m not going to beat around the bush; modern cars piss me off. I’m sick of everything beeping at me. I’m sick of not being able to change a headlight bulb because everything is hidden under a sea of plastic covers and Torx screws. I’m sick of not being able to jump start cars because idiotic designers decided it was a good idea to make the battery inaccessible for crocodile clips. I’m sick of the dashboard looking like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise and I’m sick to bloody death of my Anti-lock Braking System trying to kill me.I appreciate that having raced around tracks since the age of 12 I have developed a rather less than conservative driving style on the road. This is particularly evident around corners and under braking. I’m in no way dangerous. I still drive well within the limits of the road, the limits of the car and, more importantly, my own limits. I just see corners differently to the average motorist.
Anyway, I will be happily hacking along a road at half the speed of sound and arrive at a corner, having performed a perfectly well executed out-braking manoeuvre on a pensioner towing a caravan. In dry conditions everything is fine; I slow down sufficiently so I can hear the tyres squealing above the sound of the double-declutching induced rev increase, apex the corner like a pro and I’m on my way, up through the gears, just touching the limiter on each change and letting the car drift, using every inch of the road.
However, if the road conditions are less than perfect, my car decides that, because I am merely human, I am not fit to decide when or where to brake. Recently I was driving back from a race in Northamptonshire and the weather could only be described as mildly moist. When I attempted to apply the brakes gently on the approach to a roundabout, the ABS kicked in. The car was nowhere near approaching anything that could be considered a skid.
It gets worse in winter because if the road surface is cold it kicks in all the time. It’s not snowing. It’s not icy. It’s just a little bit cold. I can feel when a skid is about to happen and I can assure you this stupid microchip is wrong.
The problem is that once the ABS kicks in, the driver has no control whatsoever. The only way to regain control is to come off the brakes. The problem then is that you are not braking when you absolutely should be. This usually causes accidents. Leaving your foot on the brake won’t help because the malfunctioning system is rubbish and will result in an even bigger accident. No, the only solution is to veer off the road and into a ditch, which will also result in a potentially messy accident and very possibly death.
I know better than a computer. The computer can’t feel things. Its only feedback is from an electronic sensor. Sure it may be able to process that data quicker than my feeble human brain but it doesn’t have any sensitivity. Nor does it have any self preservation.
Of course many of these driver aids are designed to help with safety. Most people wouldn’t have a clue what to do if they skidded on ice. Most would probably stamp on the brake pedal, pull the handbrake, close their eyes and pray to their resident deity.
Given how much the governing body of the biggest motor racing championship in the world are always banging on about safety, I thought it was quite ironic back in 1994 when they banned driver aids, only to have a spate of serious injuries and deaths.
1994 started with JJ Lehto breaking his neck and then Jean Alesi suffering a back injury. Then we had that fateful race at Imola where Rubens Barrichello had a huge accident on Friday, Roland Ratzenburger was killed on Saturday, Ayron Senna was killed on Sunday, spectators were seriously injured in a start line accident and a load of mechanics were injured during one of the pit stops. If that wasn’t bad enough, Karl Wendlinger was knocked into a coma at the following race, Domenico Schiattarella broke his foot the race after that, Pedro Lamy smashed his legs up in a testing accident at Silverstone and Martin Brundle almost crippled a marshal in Japan.
Of course out of all the above, the one that really stands out is Ayron Senna’s death. Without wanting to appear insensitive, I think the worst thing that came of Senna’s death was the knee-jerk rule changes that were brought in as a result. Senna was arguably one of the greatest drivers in history and he would have been appalled at how his death changed the sport. He would be even more horrified at the number of slow chicanes that were named after him. I’m sure he would have much preferred the Taburello corner to remain a flat-out death trap and be renamed “Senna Curve” rather than it be emasculated as it has and most chicanes being renamed “Senna Esses”.
Senna’s death was a freak accident. So was Ratzenberger’s. There have been much worse looking accidents in the past where drivers have walked out unscathed. Had Senna hit the wall at a slightly different angle he would probably still be with us today and Formula 1 would probably be a much better sport.
I think the problem with driver aids is that drivers forget how to drive. It’s too easy to get used to having a smartarse computer chip do everything for you. This in itself makes people complacent and reduces the fear element which is vital. It’s the same with all these safety changes. As admirable as it is to want to prevent drivers from flying through the Pearly Gates arse first in a blaze of flame, the fact that there hasn’t been a fatality for so long, coupled with the fact that drivers can usually barrel roll into a tyre wall and walk out with nothing more than a slightly bruised ego, means that drivers are taking more and more unnecessary risks than they used to. I think it’s great.
You see the bottom line is motor racing is dangerous and no amount of rule changes and safety measures are going to change that. People have been killed before and people are going to be killed again. It’s inevitable. I, like all other fans I’m sure, am dreading the next fatality because not only will it be sad to see such a senseless waste of human life but we will also have to endure the prospect of the FIA introducing more silly regulations where all cars will be limited to 30 miles per hour and cocooned in bubble-wrap, all race tracks will be fitted with speed bumps and Lewis Hamilton will be banned indefinitely for not being able to complete a race without crashing into someone.
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