A normal day for me starts at about 6am, make breakfast, entertain the kids for an hour and then head out to work to earn some money in order to pay for breakfast and kids. Never once have I woken up and though 'hey I know, today I'll email a bunch of random Indians and ask if they would like me to take money from their bank accounts'. Perhaps I should try it.
Date: 7 June 2017 at 09:25
Subject: Your website
We can put your website on 1st page of Google to drive relevant traffic to your site. Let us know if you would be interested in getting detailed proposal. We can also schedule a call & will be pleased to explain our services in detail. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks
From: Dr Dave Liam Prous
Sent: Wednesday, June 07, 2017 2:50 PM
Subject: RE: Your website
That sounds great. I'd really like to get my website number 1 on the Google. What can you do for me and how much would it cost?
On 7 June 2017 at 17:01, Jagdish Kumar_SEO_IOT Websolutions wrote:
Thanks for your email!
We are a premier ISO 9001:2015 certified & one of the leading online marketing firms having an experience of over 7 years in handling SEO projects. We are based in INDIA (New Delhi). We have optimized over a thousand of sites and brought many businesses on page one of Google. (Please also go through the attachment for additional information)
We can get your site onto the first page of Google regarding all relevant keywords. So that if someone searches for the services or products related to yours, they will find your product/service there on top of the Google search page. Through this feature you will generate additional traffic to your site.
From: Dr Dave Liam Prous
Sent: Thursday, June 08, 2017 1:44 PM
To: Jagdish Kumar_SEO_IOT Websolutions
Subject: Re: Website SEO
What happened to Abbey? She sounded nice and I really felt we had a connection.
Anyway, that all sounds brilliant and completely legitimate. It's so nice to hear from a genuine person with real skills because there are a lot of scammers about these days.
So how much would your service cost? I only ask because my budget at the moment is quite limited after a business deal went sour. To cut a long story short, I spent a lot of money on purchasing one of those Thai ladyboys to give me a full body massage and a happy ending but she failed to deliver. It cost me a good £70,000. I can borrow some money from dodgy Norman the loan shark but I'd need some guarantee that your SEO work could generate some income for me because he has been known to cut off people's gentleman sausage if they don't pay on time.
Do you have experience in working on websites in all market sectors? My website is quite specialist and targets a very select market. I can provide you full details once we have signed an official contract and you have pledged yourself to secrecy in blood.
I look forward to your response.
From: Jagdish Kumar_SEO_IOT Websolutions [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Friday, June 09, 2017 12:48 AM
To: 'Dr Dave Liam Prous'
Subject: RE: Website SEO
Hi Dr Dave,
Thanks for your response.
We shall optimize the keywords for your website and target the market as per your requirement. All the SEO tasks like On-Page & Off-Page optimization will be done accordingly.
You can check our different SEO packages with prices and complete task list at the link given below:-
Regarding results, SEO is a time consuming and regular process. Minimum, it takes about 4 to 6 months’ time. However, you will see results improving in a month’s time as our main aim is to get our client’s website on first page of search engines. Also, please visit the link given below and check the results that we have achieved for our clients:-
Awaiting your response. Many thanks!
On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 5:40 PM, Dr Dave Liam Prous wrote:
Sorry for my late reply. I have been busy. Basically I went out the other night for a few drinks and woke up in a wheelie bin completely naked and no clue where I was. Turned out I was in Doncaster. Anyway, after finding a bin bag to wear as a coat and failing to hitch-hike back to my own town, I ended up having to walk. Have you ever tried walking 300 miles down a motorway wearing nothing but a bin bag? I tried to explain my situation to the police who pulled me over but they told me to stop talking otherwise they would arrest me.
Anyway, thanks for showing concern for my welfare. How are you?
On 13 June 2017 at 14:38, Jagdish Kumar wrote:
Hi Dr Dave,
Sorry to hear all this!
I am doing fine here.
Please advise if you are interested in our services or not?
Awaiting your response.
On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 7:17 PM, Dr Dave Liam Prous wrote:
I sure am interested. How much would it cost? The only reason I ask is because I had to buy myself some new clothes because I obviously can't wear a bin bag all the time. Also, the police bail was astronomical so, needless to say, my budget is stretched at the moment.
On 13 June 2017 at 14:49, Jagdish Kumar wrote:
Please check our prices by just clicking on below link:-
Please advise. Thanks!
On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 7:37 PM, Dr Dave Liam Prous wrote:
Wow that's quite a lot of money. Perhaps we could work out some kind of deal. Would you accept £0.50 and my bin bag coat as payment? It's very fashionable and could probably fetch a few hundred pounds. I mean I've seen the kind of stuff those supermodels wear on the catwalk and they sell for silly money.
On 13 June 2017 at 20:21, Jagdish Kumar wrote:
Sorry we can't.
On Tue, Jun 14, 2017 at 11:48 AM, Dr Dave Liam Prous wrote:
That's a real shame. What if I spray painted the bin bag in all the colours of the rainbow? Would that be more appealing? Obviously I'd have to charge for the cost of the paint as well.