Range Rover Launches Electric Car For People Who Hate Petrol But Love £154,000

Range Rover has unveiled its first fully electric vehicle, finally answering the question nobody has been asking: how can you make a two-and-a-half-tonne luxury SUV environmentally friendly while ensuring that absolutely nobody mistakes it for an affordable car?

The answer, apparently, is £154,070.

The new electric Range Rover can accelerate from 0 to 60mph in just 4.3 seconds, meaning owners can now reach the school gates considerably faster while experiencing none of the traditional pleasures of petrol, such as noise, fumes or being able to afford something else.

JLR has spent more than a decade developing the vehicle, which is being built at its historic Solihull factory. More than 10,000 employees have received specialist training, while the car has undergone testing equivalent to 38 laps of the globe.

Engineers reportedly considered doing 39 laps but decided everyone had suffered enough.

“We wanted to create something revolutionary,” said a company spokesman. “Something that combines sustainability, luxury and the ability to spend more than £150,000 on a car that doesn't make a loud noise.”

The electric Range Rover also offers extensive personalisation options, allowing customers to specify custom paint colours and bespoke interior embroidery.

This means buyers can finally spend an additional £47,000 making their £154,000 electric SUV look exactly like a £154,000 electric SUV.

The vehicle's arrival has been welcomed by environmentalists, although several have reportedly fainted upon discovering that the enormous electric vehicle weighs approximately as much as a small village.

Range Rover insists the new model represents a major step towards a cleaner future.

This has created a slight problem for the marketing department, which is currently trying to explain why the clean future has a 23-speaker stereo, heated armrests and enough leather to upholster a modest Victorian townhouse.

Nevertheless, the company remains confident.

The electric Range Rover is expected to appeal to wealthy motorists who want to save the planet without making any of the sacrifices normally associated with saving the planet.

In a further technological breakthrough, JLR has reportedly developed a special charging cable capable of transmitting enough electricity to make a small village briefly question whether it really needs street lighting.

The future has arrived.

It is enormous, silent, very fast and costs £154,070.

Naturally, it will be parked outside a primary school with its hazard lights on.