Buy the book!
We've all sat in the pub and put the world to rights over a few pints. We've all got an opinion on important matters. We all agree that everyone else in the world is fundamentally stupid. Or is it just me?The eargerly anticipated first book from the UK's youngest grumpy old man is now available from all online bookshops. Buy your copy now!
Forget the Haka, check the Hyundai
3 weeks of fun driving around the spiritual home of my favourite Formula 1 team. It's just a shame none of them can drive.
Justin Bieber might save my business
How using a cricket bat with nails hammered into it could be used as a powerful marketing tool to promote a new business venture
Don't strike; humour is dead
Not only should strikers be shot, but those who complain about people making jokes about shooting strikers should be shot.
Merry Christmas Mr. Mohammed
Dear Santa, please don't let me get crucified, blown up or burnt as a heretic and I promise I'll be a good boy.
They don't make things like they used to
Do you remember Bugs Bunny sticking his fingers down the end of a shotgun to make it backfire? Well it turns out that doesn't work in real life.
Welcome to the family
If someone offered me free dinner and a party, I would gratefully accept it and not demand any more special privileges.
Eating an Apple can reduce stress
No jokes about Blackberry crumbles or how Steve Jobs lived life to the Macs otherwise I won't get into heaven; God has a thing about Apples.
Stay safe; learn to drive
With driver aids trying to kill me to death, I say get rid of them all, go back to basics and learn how to drive properly.
The sting and the police
Rather than cutting back on important things like national security, why not cut back on pointless things like government ministers?
Survey my middle finger and spin on it
According to a recent survey, breathing is bad for your health. It has been proven that 100% of people who breathe will eventually die.
