Buy the book!

We've all sat in the pub and put the world to rights over a few pints. We've all got an opinion on important matters. We all agree that everyone else in the world is fundamentally stupid. Or is it just me?

The eargerly anticipated first book from the UK's youngest grumpy old man is now available from all online bookshops. Buy your copy now!

Lewis Hamilton pities the fool

Lewis Hamilton hopes dressing like Mr T and sucker-punching his rival will give him his second championship


My head is in the clouds

If you're going to change, change for the better. Don't be like an albino wrecking ball.


No, you're not the number one

Being asked silly questions is almost as annoying as that being on "It's a Small World" at Disneyland with Nicki Minaj.


Plus net minus broadband equals anger

Never let a monkey wire a plug. It may result in high blood pressure, haemorrhaging and anger management sessions.


Just a load of waffle

Viruses, dead people, Google, Facebook, the ninja arts of Amazon and the increasing smell of Kim Jong Un


Ich spreche kein Englisch

Vettel claims linguistic ignorance after disobeying team orders to over take his 'slow' team mate to win in Malaysia.


Follow that taxi. Just don't shoot me

Commit a crime, get sent to jail for several years and come out and run for president. That's how it works, right?


Fans urge drivers to stop being girls

Drivers told to man-up and stop being afriad of a little bit of water.


Battle rages for second Force India drive

Adrian Sutil favourite for the drive after he was seen buying a box of champagne glasses.


A blinding example of a good eye test

Either opticians are cruel and like to humiliate their patients as much as possible, or my optician fancies me.