Old, boring and proud

It’s time to break out the pipe and slippers because I’m fast approaching thirty and already I’m confused by the youth of today.

Stop blowing stuff up!

New Year Sale now on: Come into our country and blow us all up and we'll give you a house, a car and stick you on benefits for as long as you want.

Breaking and entering, loitering with intent to entice children, cruelty to animals and drink driving is just the tip of the ice berg.

I am entering the 21st Century and launching myself firmly onto the Internet Information Super-Bypass!

Please stop talking to me like you're my best friend. I've never met you and have no idea who you are!