Junk Mail

I've received a number of emails over the years from some really nice Africans who delight in informing me that one of my long lost relatives has been tragically killed and I've inherited millions. I've also won the Nigerian lottery several times. With all these dead African uncles and lottery wins, I am now one of the richest people in the world. Unfortunately I've never actually seen any of the money. Still, they are nice to chat to and living proof that evolution isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 

SEO with Jagdish

SEO with Jagdish

I know, today I'll email a bunch of random Indians to see if they want to outsource any work.

 

It's like Ebay for the black market

It's like Ebay for the black market

Of course my website is legitimate. I sell guns and government secrets and also deal in human trafficking.

 

Reduction of stock

Reduction of stock

How about you keep all the remaining stock and I give you a guided tour of my shed? It's a nice shed.

 

Pensions regulator waffle

Pensions regulator waffle

As I technically employ myself, do I need to notify myself of the new pension law and then reply to myself telling myself I already have a pension?

 

Long term relationship

Long term relationship

Yes please do some SEO work for me. I can't afford to pay you but we can get married and I can toss you off every week.

 

Yet another barrister

Yet another barrister

If you need money laundering, forgery, wrestling tickets or you just need someone killed, please let me know because I can help you out.

 

SQL user list

SQL user list

Yes please send me a list of people who use a product so I can sell them the product they already have. That makes sense.

 

Kate Middleton and gingers

Kate Middleton and gingers

It's a difficult decision. Kate's had two children but Pippa might have been gingered by Harry and I don't want to catch Gingervitis

 

Facebook competition

Facebook competition

Facebook are giving away nearly half a million dollars to random people as a way of saying thank you for allowing them to steal your personal information.

 

My African lawyer

My African lawyer

So let me get this straight; I've inherited seven million dollars from my African uncle and I can claim the money if I give you my credit card details and donate a kidney to your wife?

 

Number 1 on Google

Number 1 on Google

Can you please get my website to number one on the Google? The site is dedicated to beastiality. I mean full on animal on animal porn would just be weird.

 

Council tax discount

Council tax discount

So if I tell my imaginary friend to leave, does that mean I would still be eligible for the single occupancy discount? And can you please reimburse me the cost of a stamp?

 

Love letters from Getty

Love letters from Getty

Please take this matter seriously because otherwise Getty Images might get very, very cross and, no, we do not accept self portraits as a form of payment.

 

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